It’s easy to become a lonely stay-at-home mom. Being with your children all day is a blessing, but, of course, you long for adult interaction.
Stay-at-home moms rarely get a break from their work. It is often a 24/7 job.
Loneliness can lead to depression and depression is a whole ‘nother can of worms.
Your mental and social well-being as a stay-at-home mom is important. We’ve all heard the analogy of the plane’s oxygen mask. The rule is to first put your own mask on, then help your children put on their masks. We must take care of ourselves, so that we can take care of others.
Here are 5 tips (plus a bonus tip) to help the lonely SAHM.
Schedule Adult Time
Sounds like a no-brainer, but it still needs to be said.
If you have a group of friends, great. Call one or all of them and plan an adult night out.
If finding (or even affording) a babysitter is the problem, plan playdates. Or set up a rotation. For example, if you have a group of 5 friends, have 2 watch all the kids while the other 3 go out. Rotate every week (or as often as you go out), so everyone has the chance to be sans kiddos.
P.S. Don’t be afraid to ask your non-mommy friends to join the rotation. You may be surprised to find that they would love to join in.
If need be… Break Out of Your Comfort Zone
Tip #1 is great (if not plainly obvious) if you already have a great group of friends.
But, what if, like me back in the day, you are a young mom in a new town where you don’t know anyone?
Okay, here’s where things get all kinds of real for us introverts.
You HAVE to put away your shyness and make friends. Your mental health depends on it.
Make a plate of brownies to take to a neighbor and introduce yourself.
Strike up conversations with other stay-at-home moms at the park and schedule a followup playdate for a few days later.
Use any of the next 3 tips to meet new people.
Instead of sitting around waiting for someone else to come talk to you, you go and make the first move!
Take a Class
Get out of the house and go learn something!
Take a foreign language class at the community center.
Audit a college course in a subject you want to learn more about.
Look up art studios in town to find pottery or watercolor classes.
See if your local parks and recreation department offers tennis lessons.
Join a Jazzercise class.
The possibilities are almost endless.
Look for Weekday Church or Community Programs
Many churches offer Bible studies or “Mothers of Preschoolers” groups with childcare available for free or for a nominal fee.
If you have someone who can watch your children, you can often find community groups that get together during the day. Rotary clubs, garden clubs, book clubs, community round tables are all great options.
To find such groups search your community Facebook groups or call the community center. Check the bullentin board at the public library and be sure to check out the “Community” section of your local newspaper.
This is an especially good idea if you don’t have the money to take classes.
Realize Your Children Won’t Always Be Small
It’s easy as a lonely stay-at-home mom to blame your children for your loneliness. Please guard against this! Many times you won’t even realize that you are doing it.
Take steps to find adult community, but don’t obsess about it.
Remember to take time every day to enjoy your children exactly as they are right now. They are going to change and grow so very fast. Don’t blink and miss it!
Bonus Tip – Volunteer
Loneliness can turn into self-absorbtion very quickly! When you are lonely, you tend to focus on your needs, your wants, your misery.
Volunteering is the quickest way to overcome this way of thinking.
Take time to put other people’s needs before your own. It not only does other people good, it also refreshes your own spirit.
You can volunteer at a hospital, or a food bank, or even an animal shelter. Check around your town to find ways to volunteer.
P.S. This is also a great way to meet people. 😉
Be encouraged! You do not have to be a lonely stay-at-home mom!
